Maybe I can get over my political stuffins if I make a wee joke over it. The words, "With the looming oil crisis..." have started to begin many of my sentences. If I said, "With the looming tobacco crisis..." instead, it wouldn't be so bad, would it?
If it were a war for tobacco, I could sit back and sniff importantly, "I don't smoke right now. I quit when I wanted to quit, mostly. These people have no backbone!" Who these people is unclear to me since a war for Iraqi Tabacky hasn't been shown to be in the immediate future.
Of course, continuing the idea of addiction and war, there are some who might say that we have an addiction to oil. In this case I have a difficult time sitting back and sniffing in a self-important way. I can't just stop when I want. Not if I want to go anywhere. Organic grocery store or shopping mall, I need my petroleum products to get there.
So maybe I should go to a twelve step program. I will acknowledge that the problem has control of me; I do not have control of it. I will acknowledge that I have a problem and that I cannot handle it alone. Now here's the sticky wicket: I need to have a higher power to whom I turn for help.
Sure, I could choose the Christian God I grew up with. I could choose an alternate religion and go with it. But really, what God is the God of crude oil and its products? Or would it be a patron saint. St. Christopher, perhaps? Patron saint of travelers? Or he was, anyway. But if we choose him as a patron saint aren't we just encouraging the further consumption of petroleum products?
Is there any saint who sat home a lot, possibly in the dark and cold? Using tallow candles for light, acid-free, 100% post-consumer recycled paper, and soy-based inks? I bet Jesus would be a good poster child. Those days between Good Friday and Easter? I think he was writing on the paper, shivering under his all-natural, organic hemp robe, and squinting into the tallow driven flame.
I should ask the Queen. She would know. She's a religious studies major. She and I often don't agree on political matters. I think this is a place where we could come together. We do agree that blowing people up is generally not a good idea. So maybe she could figure out a religious figure to represent that. An obscure one so people think they're clever and superior. People are truer to their assertions if they feel smart and special about them.
I'd ask the Queen to move on, if she could stand it, into finding a saint or God for oil. If it were olive oil we could choose from any one of the Greek gods who had a healthy appetite for salad. But as it stands...the Queen needs to step in.
Posted by dotty at June 16, 2004 11:13 PMThe queen steps in it:
The Queen thinks of Moses and his 40 years wandering the very same oil laden deserts that we now fight over. He seemed to not have much of a problem with transportation even though he had no idea he was walking all over valuable petroleum products. Yes,yes, Moses is your guy . If you insist on going Greek finding someone peace loving, who traveled, is difficult Heracles comes to mind he did quite a bit of foot travel and used no fossil fuels, and he did not blow people up, but he did kill a few. Of course Dotty knows that the Queen reccomends Jesus, he did all his travel on foot, and if all of the people who CLAIM to follow him today actually did attempt to emulate him we would not be blowing people up. But we know that even though Jesus was perfect none of us are, many of us are so far from perfect we wonder how they can utter Jesus' name this still does not change the fact that the Savior is the Savior. If only the Christians would act like Christians it might make Dotty feel better. It is sad that they don't. The Queen will try to fix them.