Dotty Parker

oh! the indignity!

Things come in small packages. Notice I didn't say good things...

I received the letter from Binghamton Unversity yesterday, and an emailed version today (so tacky). Here's how they signed it:

Cordially,

The Graduate School
Binghamton University

Cordial? My ass that's a cordial letter. La la la! Oh! By the way, sweetie. You won't be invited to the party!

I do love how they try to ameliorate the news:

After reviewing your file, the School of Education & Human Development has
denied your application for admission to the Master of Social Work program.
Admission to the Graduate School here is competitive, and each academic
department and school establishes its own admission requirements in addition
to the general academic standards of the institution.

So what's the deal? They make a blanket statement that has no connection to the previous one. If it said "...general academic standards of the institution. You don't happen to be what we're looking for." I could respect that. Instead
they picked some stupid sentence from the front of the application and slapped it in there. Cowards.

Yes, this is what I do when I'm annoyed with someone. I pick apart their grammar until I feel superior. But what's wrong with that? I am superior.

They wrote that they "denied my application for admission." Well, no. they denied me admission. If they'd denied my application, I wouldn't have gotten an interview. Dolts.

And what does this mean?

An official letter with the decision notification will be mailed to you
shortly. * I hope that you will be successful in finding other avenues for
pursuit of your educational goals

Yes? Send an unofficial letter? Then an official letter? Like I want to be denied twice. And the last sentence, whoooeeeeee. That's my favorite, I think. It feels like it says, "Keep looking, honey. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out."

So I'm pissed off, I think. It doesn't help that the poison sumac (It wasn't the ivy, although I found two more patches of it in the yard. Bastard poison ivy.) on my face and neck looks like I had a fight with a cat. And that it's itchy.

But! We are going to the lake today. That is cool. It's father's day, and it's thanks to Socks that I remember. And the dogs will be happy and Sprocket will run away from me and the cute boys next door will not be there which is fabulous since they have a harem of perfect looking college women. One of whom didn't even know how to tie the strings on her bikini and thus lost her bottoms.

I wanted to pull her aside and explain that it's the idea that it might come off, not the actuality. Oh well. Drunk on lite beer. Not even light. If you're going to do it, go for the gusto. Just drag around a bottle of grain alcohol and live with the certainty of much more time in the gym. And bring a dixie cup.

Am I jealous? Am I in a bad mood? Do I think that there's an entire class of people who I don't want to get to know because I might find out that I like them?

Yeah, you be the judge.

I do know, however, that anyone who signs a rejection letter with "cordially" will be forever categorized in my mind as a fool.

Posted by dotty at June 18, 2004 12:47 PM