Dotty Parker

hermione granger

Have you read or seen Harry Potter nonsense? I will admit, with my head ducked to avoid being cuffed, that I have read and seen the Harry Potter nonsense. All of it. And liked it.

I can’t wait for the next book! I predict that Neville Longbottom will become a much better wizard now that he has his own wand instead of his dad’s. I’m also voting that Ron finds a more robust backbone. He’s my favorite, you see. And Ginny, too.

Then there’s Hermione Granger. The overachieving student from hell who the kids tend to dislike. I’d like to think that I was like her, but I was a different version of cute and smart. The monstrous version! My hair has always been a little on the, uh, fuzzy side, though. I will momentarily reveal another Hermione Granger similarity.

I’ve been thinking about writing. Like more than notes. I must remind you of my gift for yakking. There are times when I’m not very good at it—when I’m thinking of other things or my feet hurt or I’m hungry or my arm was recently amputated—but for the most part, I need help with the shutting up.

And so! I’ve been writing myself a bit of a story. Each part of the story has been four to eight pages long. Until you get to what is arbitrarily being called number six.

Number six was fifteen pages long.

Hmm. Which one of these is not like the other?

And I also feel like Hermione Granger. (It's not bad, actually.)

So what did Miss Dotty do? Miss Dotty bowdlerized the whole thing. I’m down to six pages. Six! Where did the other nine go? I don’t know. Away somewhere. It was significantly more interesting before, but with art there is always sacrifice.

Does that make this art?

I’d better find some art so I can sacrifice those nine pages right along with it. I’m thinking of burning an offering to God. Does he still accept those? Perhaps lightning strikes are events in which God is returning some sort of offered sacrifice. Is he the vengeful God who sits on his shiny chair and says, “If you people don’t stop burning paper and gasoline, I swear to Me that I will burn your houses down!”

Maybe I’ll just send my sacrifice through the mail.

Posted by dotty at September 29, 2004 11:29 PM