So. Presidential debates are tonight.
So. Watch them, don't watch them; I don't care.
So. Get your booty moving and chitchat loudly and happily about how dandy-fine John Kerry is. Better yet, go to Ohio and do it. Or Pennsylvania. Or any swing state. Or even any Republican state.
I'm growing frightened. Yes, yes, we all know that our beloved President has the I.Q. of a rattle, but I found out something new today that makes me fear a future with him as the boss more than ever.
W is delaying his annual physical until after the election.
!
Why's that a problem? Well! It might mean that he's very sick. And if he's very sick, he might die or become incapable of ruling his kingdom. And if either of those things, or both, I suppose, happens, Darth Cheney will have taken over the land!
So there's that. What else? What if that box-shaped thing under his jacket is actually a hump? What if George Bush is growing some kind of bell-tower-friendly hump? Can he reign from the heights of Notre Dame? Or will Dick Shadey take over?
Or! It could be some kind implant. Batteries or a refrigerator. Something like that. Maybe he can carry a six-pack around with him that way. Maybe he just wanted a cold one after the debate. Maybe when he said, "Let me finish," he was talking to the hankering in his tummy for the Snickers bars that were tucked into the freezer portion of the fridge. Snickers really satisfies, you know.
Maybe W is an exhibitionist! Maybe he just wants to strip from the waist up, a la Siegfried and Roy! Then, oh yes I hope it's this, he can spin, whipping his Saville Row, French-cuffed suit at John Kerry! Revealed will be a holographically enhanced rippling chest. Embedded in his back will be a cage containing two hungry wolverines! He'll turn his back to the audience, shake his ass, and let the wolverines, angered by their confinement and George's seismic disruptions, out to chew on the moderator!
Jim Lehrer was lucky.
It was too cold in that debate room for him to be running around half naked.
Posted by dotty at October 8, 2004 04:45 PM