Dotty Parker

evolution of the lamb chop...or "how hot is this guy???!"

****11 November 2004****
Note that I incorrectly used the term "lamb chop" rather than "mutton chop".

Generally I would be ashamed.

In this case, however, I will let it flow into the theme of "evolution of the lamb chop". You may now let that lamb grow into mutton.

Thanks go to CoolCat. Without his in-depth knowledge of hair styles and cuts of meat, I would have forever remained in darkness.

I got word that BellyRub shaved off his beard. I don’t remember the reason why he did it. I don’t remember because of the very special treat that he gave me.

He left sideburns. Oh yes. Lamb chops, baby.

Today I got an email with a subject line that read, “Fun with a beard trimmer.” The text of the message was, “How hot is this guy???” And then there was a picture.

Sweet BellyRub sent me a picture of his awesome new style. I must say that I am most impressed. Particularly since it’s all one fabulous tradition.

If I look back to the Civil War era, there are most certainly men with sideburns. I collected six photos for my own amusement. So it goes without saying that there must be many men who walked around with big chops on their heads back then. Right?

Now jump to the 1960s. Elvis was the king. The king wore side burns. Need I say more?

Now, if I skip ahead to the early 1970s, Dr.Dad was in the swing of things. A young father, recently married, yet still up to impressing the ladies with that bedside manner. How did he get into their good graces? The chops.

(Incidentally, this is not to suggest that my dad was picking up patients for dates. To my knowledge, nothing like that ever happened. But look at that picture. Look how sweet and gentle. And good with kids! Oh! Heaven! And a doctor, too! Well, you see what I mean. Maybe.)

Advance to 1984 when BellyRub was about six years old. He was cute as a monkey and often tried to encourage his ears to grow into monkey shapes. He did not succeed. Note, however, that when he pulls on his ears, his tongue comes out.

And now enter year 2004. BellyRub has a jobby job and has to be “professional” and “work” and live up to “expectations”. Dork. But here you can see him with chops. He left them on. I’m delighted by his silliness and ability to live up to my expectations of nonsense. Ha ha! Look at that! My influence trickles in his ear at night and into his brain. He has a rotten side of the brain. That’s my side. The trickling rotted it. He’s being watched by the Johns Hopkins Medical College. He’s one of the few people who have successfully avoided brain rot malfunction. They think he’s amazing. He doesn’t do it often, but when he does speak to me I believe that he truly is thankful for my aid in the brain rot process. He’s had more head x-rays than E.T. And that makes him creative.

He’s a lucky boy. And he does talk to me. He does. I promise.

And so it seems that the last footprint in this path of evolution ends on BellyRub’s face. Do note that it appears when he puts a phone to his ear, his side burns come out.

[I think AngerTrain had side burns, too, for a while. I don’t know where the photo is, though. If there is one. And there might not be one since I’m not sure it happened. So there’s that.]

Posted by dotty at November 8, 2004 11:32 PM