It's the new year! And it's time for resolutions.
Or not.
Isn't it cooler to be oh-so-uninterested in these resolution things? I mean, how could I be any better? Well, I couldn't. But there are some people out there who could. And I'm here to make some resolutions for them.
Turning corners without your blinker on. Turn it on so I know where you're going.
Big, huge, thumping bass systems that drive my house. Turn it off. I know you can't hear me, but I'm writing this to you. Turn it off.
Ill-fitting clothes from pseudo-trendy stores. Yes, yes. Many people wear those clothes. Good for you. Stop stretching them out.
Putting things back in the wrong place when shopping. I think you know better than that.
Walking slowly, several people wide while in the mall. Change, my dears. Because I hate you.
Foot shuffling. You can pick up those feet, kids! You can do it! I know you can! I hate that sound.
People who whine. Yeah, well, maybe that one doesn't need to change. I mean, hey, I've been known to indulge in the whinification of life...yeah. That's a good thing. Leave that in.
Poking people in the eye. It's just rude.
If you see any of the people described above, tell them I know what they need to do. It's very easy. They just need to take my advice.
And do it. Now.
Posted by dotty at January 1, 2005 10:34 PM