March 13, 2005
ah yeah. who's your daddy? uh, who's your dentist?
The monthly pancake breakfast took place this morning. It went well, we had lots of people and made a couple hundred dollars. Making money pacifies the old ladies who think that the $6.15 minimum wage is too much. They're also upset that food costs more than it did twenty years ago. The same goes for gas. And taxes. Property values are okay, though. They tend to own their own homes.
The breakfast always brings out the community's of odd characters. One woman comes every month and eats by herself and seems just fine. Perhaps a little detached from reality, but not so far gone, really. Still, she rates some stories.
At last month's breakfast I went to wash my hands. I opened the bathroom door, and she was standing in the doorway to the stall with her pants open preparing to zip them up. Before I could say, "Sorry, excuse me," she said, "Oh, sorry, I couldn't figure out how to work the door so I just closed the big one."
Darlings, this is a normal kind of bathroom door. You close it, you slide the lock to the side, and the door stays closed. I realized later that I didn't apologize at all. I said, "Oh, it's okay. Those doors can be tricky." Why was I reassuring her? I do not know the answer to that one.
Do note that she had red underwear. She might be a superhero.
I saw her later that month in the grocery store. She didn't recognize me. Must be her super-underwear-power wasn't working well.
Today she finished her meal and was pawing through her handbag. She found what she wanted, extracted it, and begin flossing. That's right, she was flossing at the table. She'd been looking for floss. She's a dental floss superhero!
I wonder if we should start handing out minty toothpicks. Should the flossing become a craze, I'll suggest that. It will keep people from flossing at the table so often. The little old ladies might not approve of the expenditure, but I'll consider donating those fancy mint sticks as long as we can draft a resolution stating that they must use them on their way out the door and not at the breakfast table.
But wow. Dental floss. That's special.
Posted by dotty at March 13, 2005 10:16 PM