So, to continue the story of the angel lady:
I met her for coffee in the morning. She seemed really nervous; I was, too. What the hell had I gotten myself into? That's what I was thinking. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but she wasn't as revved up as she had been the night before.
We both got tea (hers had caffeine--a sure sign of insanity) and sat down. I decided to get it right out on the table. "So I've been wondering about your angel school."
Yes, that's what she wanted to do. She wanted to start a school to teach people to become angels.
"Oh, are you still interested in doing that?" Still? How can I still be interested when I'd never started?
"Well, I'm not sure I'm interested in it, but I am curious. Like, who would teach it?"
I learned that she is very full of the holy spirit and she believes that the more she can teach someone else to become full of the holy spirit the more she, too, will continue to be filled with the holy spirit and then her journey toward becoming an angel will begin. She said things like, "Well, we're small right now" and "as a group together we'll be working toward". She and I were the group. Then she said things like, "God led me to you for a reason. I can show you how to let in the holy spirit. And we'll make this into something bigger. Something that will support my life. And I could pay you. We could get an apartment together. We'd be roommates."
Mm, no.
I said a lot of words like "ah" and "jeez" and "wow" and "dunno". She said God wanted me to read this chapter from the Bible. I read it. I tried to explain that it was hard for me to take the Bible as an authoritative source. She nodded knowingly.
She also said that God told her that he will be descending soon, like within a month.
So when she told me, at the end of our coffee, that I should call her in two or three years when the conflicts she could see in my eyes were resolved, I was kinda surprised. I had expected that I'd be pitched into the lake of fire by next month.
I said something like that. She said, "Oh, don't say that. Don't say that." So I stopped saying that.
I also mentioned that I was a little worried about her. That some of the things she was talking about made it sound like maybe she wasn't entirely healthy. I said that although many of the things she's said are symptoms of being a visionary they can also be symptoms of being mentally ill. I told her that if she were, for example, bipolar, she wouldn't perceive that she was taking on more than she could handle or spending more than she had.
I wasn't quite that clumsy, but I wasn't much more eloquent. I offended her a bit. She also told me, however, that she does have bipolar disorder, although she thinks that the doctors have neglected to take into consideration that it's a spiritual conflict that's occurring. It's not diagnoseable. I didn't dispute that with her. I already felt uncomfortable about our conversation--from alpha to omega.
She offered to make me a star chart. Upon finding out that I was a Cancer, she seemed to back off from being offended. She said she knew right where I was coming from. That I made so much sense to her now. I'm very glad of that. I really didn't want to offend her. And, although I declined the offer of the star chart and admited that I didn't believe in it, either, she said she understood. She could tell.
She has, much to my relief, decided not to buy the sewing machine. She and Jesus had a long talk about it and he says it just isn't the right time. I told her that I was kind of glad to hear that since it didn't feel quite right last night. She was glad to hear me say that. She said that when I was ready, she would tell me a story about that and it would make my heart so warm on the inside. I'm not sure what the story is about, but I've got a warm and smiling heart in store for me, should I choose that path.
This isn't the prettiest way to tell this story. I'm still overwhelmed by the humanity of it all.
And the absurdity.
And the humor. It's dark humor. And I want her to get well, if she needs to or wants to. Perhaps she's heralding the new messiah. But if she's well and is speaking truth or is ill and telling whatever it is that she'll tell, it's still pretty damned funny.
Damned just might be the word.