Dotty Parker

why do they hate the u.p.s. truck?

The dogs hate the UPS truck. I'm sure I've told you this before. Spring will bark crazily at the truck even when she's in my car and I'm in traffic. She really hates it!

I had once suggested taking the dogs over to the place where the UPS trucks go to sleep at night. I thought that maybe if they could go up to the trucks and sniff them and bang their paws on them, they might get over a little bit of the anger and fury that seems to drive them to KILL KILL KILL!

I haven't done that.

Today I had another dog and UPS related thought.

There's a woman named Temple Grandin. She's been on NPR a bunch and she lectures at universities quite a bit. She might even be at Cornell right now. At any rate, she's autistic and uses her autism to work with animals and interpret their behavior. She's also a serious and persuasive advocate for appropriate diagnosis and treatment of people with autism. She says that her autism heightens some sensations so that they're similar to sensations that animals experience. This helps her design animal containment facilities and humane transports vehicles and humane slaughterhouses. Yes. It makes sense when you hear it from her. She acknowledges that she needs to eat meat--that's what her body wants (I'm of the opinion that humans need to eat meat. That's why vegetarians are so sullen and pale, because in their hearts they crave flesh. It sucks the passion and blood right out of them.). So she wants to make sure that the animals are led like silent lambs to the slaughter rather than those who would be forced to run screaming and crying, kicking each other on their way to the slaughter. Maybe it's like the end times. Maybe.

At any rate, there's a woman named Temple Grandin. And I would like to go to one of her lectures. In her interviews, she's interesting, but kind of annoying. She seems to have a scripted answer to everything. I find that a bit irritating, although I recognize that it's necessary when you're on a lecture circuit.

Nevertheless, she damn well better pay attention to my question and acknowledge it as special! As I stand at the microphone, I will look up at her and give a shaky, fleeting smile. I'll say, "Yes, hi, um, why do all dogs hate the UPS man...and the mail man?...Or maybe they don't hate the mail women?" People will laugh a little. And then she'll have to answer my question.

And we'll know.

Posted by dotty at February 26, 2006 10:52 PM | TrackBack